Understanding Grief: What It Is, How It Shows Up, and How to Cope

Grief is one of the most universal yet misunderstood human experiences. Whether you've lost a loved one, ended a relationship, or experienced a major life transition, grief can impact every part of your life - emotionally, physically, mentally, and even spiritually.

In this post, we’ll explore:

• What grief is

• The different types of grief

• Common symptoms of grief

• How to cope with grief in healthy ways

• When to consider grief therapy

What Is Grief?

Grief is the natural emotional response to loss. While it’s often associated with death, grief can also occur after:

• Divorce or breakup

• Job loss

• Miscarriage or infertility

• Loss of identity or purpose

• Moving away from home or a major transition

• Chronic illness or a diagnosis

There’s no “right” way to grieve. Everyone’s timeline, emotions, and healing process will look different.

Types of Grief

Grief isn’t one-size-fits-all. Here are a few common types:

• Anticipatory Grief: Grieving before a loss occurs (e.g., during a loved one’s illness).

• Complicated Grief: When grief becomes prolonged and interferes with daily functioning.

• Disenfranchised Grief: Grief that isn’t openly acknowledged or validated (e.g., after abortion, estrangement, or pet loss).

• Cumulative Grief: Grieving multiple losses at once or back-to-back.

Understanding the type of grief you’re experiencing can help you name it and seek the right support.

Common Symptoms of Grief

Grief can affect you in more ways than you might expect:

Emotional symptoms:

• Sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, anxiety

• Feeling overwhelmed or hopeless

Physical symptoms:

• Fatigue or exhaustion

• Appetite or sleep changes

• Muscle tension or stomach issues

Mental symptoms:

• Difficulty concentrating

• Forgetfulness

• Questioning meaning or purpose

Behavioural symptoms:

• Withdrawing from others

• Irritability or outbursts

• Avoiding reminders of the loss

These are all normal - but that doesn’t mean they’re easy to deal with.

How to Cope With Grief in Healthy Ways

Here are some strategies that can help:

1. Let yourself feel

Grief is not linear. You might feel fine one day and overwhelmed the next. Give yourself permission to feel without judgment.

2. Connect with support

Talk to someone you trust. Whether it’s a friend, partner, or therapist, connection helps us feel less alone in our pain.

3. Take care of your body

Grief is exhausting. Prioritize sleep, gentle movement, hydration, and nourishment as best as you can.

4. Create rituals

Lighting a candle, journaling, or keeping a photo nearby can help you stay connected to what or who you've lost.

5. Limit self-criticism

Many people blame themselves during grief (“I should have done more”). Gently challenge those thoughts with compassion.

When to Consider Grief Therapy

You don’t need to wait until you’re “not coping” to seek help. Grief therapy can support you if:

• You feel stuck or overwhelmed by your grief

• You’re experiencing panic attacks or intense sadness daily

• Your grief is affecting your work, relationships, or self-care

• You’re dealing with complex or layered losses

• You’re grieving something society doesn’t recognize or validate

As a registered psychotherapist and nurse, I offer grief therapy for adults across Ontario. Whether your loss is recent or from years ago, therapy can help you process it in a way that feels safe, supported, and human.

Final Thoughts on Grief

Grief is a reflection of love and loss - and while it hurts deeply, it also reveals what mattered most. You don’t have to go through it alone. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting - it means learning to carry the loss with less pain and more meaning.